


Dérive

by mezzosaka



Series: the air i breathe in a room empty of you is unhealthy [2]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, aquarium dates, kaoru's a sad boy and that's just how it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 17:44:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16000187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mezzosaka/pseuds/mezzosaka
Summary: He smelled like summer.In a place where Kaoru couldn't feel much of anything, he smelled like summer, and that made it all feel okay.





	Dérive

**Author's Note:**

> (no, i will not stop naming my kaosou oneshots french words)
> 
> it's been two years since i started writing for kaosou!!!! two years since this ship became my top ship for both of them!!!! can you guys believe it???? that's wild!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> anyway, i wanted to commemorate it with this short little thing. it takes place in the same universe as parfum, which in my opinion, is required reading LOL
> 
> this one is dedicated to marissa, kelly, elodie, april, and kaibo!!! for being the best!!!!!!!! thank you guys so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

They’d finally settled on a suitable scent for Souma.

It wasn’t anything too drastic. Kaoru had complimented a pretty coconut scent from the summer, and that was how it stood. Souma always smelled like coconuts and sunshine and  _ radiance,  _ and Kaoru sometimes felt like it was too much to handle.

But usually, he couldn’t get enough of it. Most days he’d only be able to catch a breath of it in passing at lunch, or an hours’ worth where their club times overlapped. Souma, nowadays, tended to arrive late to club meetings while Kaoru had to leave early—all because of typical end-of-the-year unit duties, but it still wasn’t favorable.

And even though their off days didn’t usually sync up, there were some exceptions.

The aquarium was especially busy on Sundays. Kaoru fully understood why; that was the day  _ nobody  _ had anything to do. It was the day he’d always go with his mother. He could remember the feeling of waking up early and eating fluffy pancakes before looking at the fish all day. He could remember how small he felt, standing with his hands pressed to the cool glass of a tank that seemed to take up the whole wall.

He still felt that small sometimes, when he thought about the grand scheme of things. Souma always told him not to worry about it, that Kaoru should focus on the here and the now and what was directly around him. But Kaoru couldn’t help but wonder how small he really was in the universe, and each time it brought him back round to staring up at the fish swimming by, his mother holding him steady so he wouldn’t fall over.

Now he had Souma holding him steady, which wasn’t quite the same thing, but it was close enough.

And really it was Kaoru holding Souma steady right now, their hands clasped together because it seemed like Souma was physically unable not to run away and get lost in the crowd every time he turned his head.

Kaoru didn’t exactly mind being dragged around, though. He’d been to the aquarium enough times that he had a general idea of what was where. Besides, it was unbearably cute when Souma tugged him towards a tank, throwing a smile over his shoulder.

“Kaoru-dono!” God, his smile was so pure, so bright. “There’s ducks in this one! It’s almost like we could touch them!”

Kaoru peered into the open-air tank. There certainly were ducks, but the river fish swimming around were really interesting, too. They were slow and huge and a little ugly, but Kaoru wanted to reach in and touch one.

“Kaoru-dono,” Souma said, a little more seriously this time.

His hand left Kaoru’s, only for a moment, and Kaoru made sure to keep an eye on him so he wouldn’t get swept away by the current of the crowd. He held out his phone, an old thing that still seemed to be much too complex for Souma to get the hang of, and positioned himself in front of the tank.

“I have a request. Will you please take a picture of me with the duck in the background?” he asked, almost like he was asking Kaoru to marry him or something.

Kaoru couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course! Hey, tilt your head to the right a little—” Kaoru lined up the shot and…  _ snap! _

“Thank you!” Souma took the phone from Kaoru, looking at the photo delightfully. “Wow! There I am, and there it is! This is truly a wonderful picture.”

If Kaoru didn’t know any better, he would have thought Souma had never been to this aquarium before. He stopped at each tank to take pictures of things—one of the tanks had been empty, even, and Souma was still there, taking a picture. Kaoru didn’t ask; he was sure Souma had some sort of reason for it. And Kaoru wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what that reason was, mainly because it was probably so adorable he’d melt.

But every part of Souma was like that. Every single little part, from the way he often attempted to breathe upwards and get his bangs out of his face to how his eyes would light up when a fish swam particularly close to the tank to his stride, somewhat like a little kid trying to play pretend but still so  _ graceful  _ at the same time.

Kaoru was staring now, and Souma was tilting his head.

“Are you okay?” he asked, moving away from the tank he’d been looking at and closer to Kaoru, taking his hand again.

“Yeah! Just fine,” Kaoru said. “I was just thinking about you.”

That made Souma blush, made him turn his face away and pull Kaoru further down the hallway of tanks.

It was easy to take his mind off of things when Souma was around. Especially like this, when he could focus on the feeling of Souma’s hand in his, he could remember the day Kaoru taught him how to catch sand crabs. He could remember the feeling of their hands brushing just slightly, of how he felt like he’d been zapped when he realized that he was a goner that day.

They were nearing the end of the school year. It was only a few more weeks, and then Kaoru didn’t quite know what he would do. He and Rei had something sort of lined up for idol work post-graduation, but who knows if it would last? It was terrifying.

Souma stopped suddenly as the hallway opened into more of a clearing. Kaoru’s eyes were immediately drawn to the tank in the room: it was his favorite, the one he’d speed through the rest of the aquarium just to go and see. It was filled with colorful coral, and it was teeming with sea life. Kaoru’s favorite part was the shark that’d been making it rounds every day for the past decade or so.

But Souma’s favorite part, it seemed, was the sea turtle mascot standing right in front of it.

Souma’s mouth hung open, eyes wide, hand squeezing Kaoru’s so hard he thought it’d break. He bounced up and down on his toes like he was trying his best not to bolt straight for the thing, and it really, really seemed like he was about to fail that mission.

“Kaoru-dono,  _ please  _ will you take my picture with her?” Souma asked, but he was already pulling Kaoru towards the line of children without waiting for an answer.

It wasn’t like he needed to wait for an answer, anyway. Kaoru would willingly crawl to the ends of the Earth for Souma Kanzaki if he had to.

The line moved slowly, and Souma didn’t seem like he felt silly at all for being the only person over the age of nine in line for a picture. Kaoru was jealous of that. He himself was a pretty confident dude, but that sort of thing only stretched so far. Especially in idol work, when people were ready and waiting to tear you down at any moment.

Eventually, they reached the front of the line. Souma stood next to the turtle a little awkwardly, holding up a shaky peace sign. The turtle held her arm out, too, and Souma still looked like he was bouncing up and down, almost like he was  _ vibrating.  _

“Super cute, Souma!”

And…  _ snap! _

When it was all said and down, Souma bowed deeply to the turtle, thanking her dearly for her time. Kaoru almost had to be the one pulling Souma away before things got too out of control, but it wasn’t terribly difficult coaxing Souma away from the turtle and down to the opposite side of the tank.

“Wow, this might be the cutest picture I’ve ever seen in my life,” Kaoru said, showing the phone to Souma. “You look adorable.”

“Thank you, Kaoru-dono, but the most beautiful thing about this picture is, in fact, Sea Turtle-chan-dono.” Souma cast a glance over his shoulder, to where the turtle was being herded away by her handlers. “Not only was she cute, but her species holds a level of dignified grace and poise when they glide through the water. Have you ever seen anything with such duality, Kaoru-dono?”

Kaoru could only smile. It was standing right in front of him.

His eyes quickly turned to the tank again, just in time for that shark to make another round. It really made him wonder whether it’d been the same shark all these years or if different ones had come and gone. Despite going to aquariums often, Kaoru didn’t… actually know all that much about the technicalities of the animals. Someone could tell him right now that sharks only lived until they were five years old, and Kaoru really wouldn’t have the evidence to form an argument against it.

“You like this tank, correct?” Souma asked. “I noticed you staring at it when we came in.”

“Ah, yeah… I used to come here a lot with my mom, y’know?” Kaoru glanced over at Souma, only to find him now peering into the tank.  “I’d look in this tank for hours.”

“I see…” Souma’s eyes followed one of the smaller fish that was darting about. It was brightly colored and stuck near the coral. “Well, we certainly have the time, so staring at it for hours is not exactly out of the question for this visit.”

Kaoru’s attention was drawn to a different fish now. It was still close to the shark, but it seemed to almost be swimming away from it. It wasn’t even like the shark was chasing it—or anything, for that matter—but it was still going. It seemed scared, even though fish didn’t really have much expression on their faces.

Kaoru stuck his hands in his pockets. He couldn’t stop thinking too far ahead, about what was in store for him during the coming months. 

“Hey… What do you think about the future?”

“The future?” Souma asked.

“Yeah. It’s scary, right?” Kaoru paused, held his breath for a second. He still wasn’t used to articulating his feelings well, even though Souma was constantly asking Kaoru to be more open. “I dunno, I’m just thinking about graduation.”

“Well… Despite everything, water continues to flow, does it not?”

Kaoru nodded. He didn’t really know what that had to do with anything, but he figured Souma had some kind of reason for it.

“Anything could be going on in the skies above or on the land, but beneath the surface, the fish keep swimming and the plants keep growing. Even at its most tumultuous, its most chaotic, the water continues to flow.” Souma paused, pensively, though somewhat looking like he hadn’t really considered the depth of what he said. “You’re going to keep breathing after you graduate, and I will continue to stay by your side. Even if you don’t know what will happen, the water will keep flowing. You have to just go with it sometimes, you know?”

Kaoru laughed, slightly empty. “Didn’t you always scold me for ‘just going with it?’”

“I do not think your past actions were as careless as you made it seem. You were extremely calculating before, were you not? You’re still much of the same way now, just… different, somehow.” Souma looked Kaoru up and down, seeming a lot older than he really was. “You should learn to stop caring so much.”

Kaoru nearly doubled over in laughter at that—real, actual laughter. Souma Kanzaki was telling him to chill out? He really must be doing something wrong.

“I think you’re right, Souma!” Kaoru pat Souma’s head, smiling a little wider when it made Souma’s expression soften. “I just gotta go with it. Graduating isn’t gonna kill me.”

“Exactly! I am glad to be of service, Kaoru-dono.” Souma grabbed Kaoru’s hand again, ready to parade him further into the aquarium. “We still have not gotten to the best part yet, so let’s go with the flow all the way into the next room!”

They started down the next hallway, separated from the larger room by a wall of mist. It was darker now, a labyrinth of the fish that roamed the deeper waters. Everything was washed in a soft violet light, and it seemed much quieter than the rest of the place.

They stopped together in front of one of the jellyfish tanks. It was cylindrical, and the water inside was constantly moving, rotating the jellyfish around and around. They were drifting aimlessly, but it seemed like they knew exactly where they were going. Or maybe they didn’t care—maybe they were just letting it happen, maybe they knew that it was going to be okay. The jellies themselves were round and looked soft, extremely soft, and Kaoru… almost wanted to reach out and grab one. Well, he would have completely wanted to if it weren’t for the fact that it’d sting him.

Almost as if he was reading Kaoru’s mind, Souma squeezed his hand tight.

“Huh? What—”

“Kaoru…”

He turned to look at Souma, feeling oddly giddy at the sound of Souma using his first name without anything tacked on to the end. He felt like he was dreaming, surrounded by languidly spinning tanks and squishy, tentacled clouds. Souma was drawing closer to him, lips parted, and Kaoru was slipping his arms around his waist without even thinking about it.

“You look absolutely stunning right now,” Souma said, even though Kaoru should be the one saying it. “I simply cannot handle it, and, if I may…”

They kissed, and it felt like a future. A future of Kaoru being caught up in the feeling of Souma’s lips, in the warmth of his arms, in the gorgeous scent of that familiar shampoo hiding behind a layer of coconut, of sunshine and the beach.

But underneath all that, Souma smelled like home.

And that was more than Kaoru could ever ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/mezzosaka)


End file.
